I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
