Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
