is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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