He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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