bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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