I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize