What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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