I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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