I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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