you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
