After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
