i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
