dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize