I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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