sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
