I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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