If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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