he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
