just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
