so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize