i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
