O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
