What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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