ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
