I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
