boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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