Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He felt like a one man threesome
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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