But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
