I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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