Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
