If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
