I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize