hell yes lets make some ravioli
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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