I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
