I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
