The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
