Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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