I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
