yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
