I wanna passion pit in your ass
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
