please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
