The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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