We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
