I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize