What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
