Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
