okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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