did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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