So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
