I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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