I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
