He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
