Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
accomplished twins. life is a go
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
