Say something about gay babies.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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