Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
