I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
