I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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