I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
