I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
