I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
