dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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