i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
