I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
