then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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